I am very anxious right now, its hard to breath. My ex just called me again and told me she needed help with my 18 year old daughter. She was smoking pot in my old house, in her bedroom with her friend. She was told no drugs or alcohol in house but she does not listen. I told the ex I would be right there and handle it. So I get there and go in her room, and tell her she is not allowed to smoke pot in the house. She then tells me not to disrespect her in front of her friend starts the crying and yelling the she gets violent verbally swearing at me and calling me names. Now this has been going on for the last year like that and I keep hoping she calms down but after all was said and done I told her to pack her things and go find a place to live. I feel she is not going to make her mom cry constantly and tell us both to fuck off any longer in a home that she shares with her sister and her mom. She is recently diagnosed bipolar and left school half way through. She is supposed to start cyber school to finish 12th grade and but she just does not listen to anyone and its everyone elses fault all the time. Anyway, as I was driving away from my beautiful ex house, I was shaking so bad. At her age, you cant spank them or ground them or even make them feel bad enough to be nice. She is not going to tell me or her momto go fuck ourselves in our own home. I do not regret telling her to find her own way and hope she will be safe, grow and hopefully learn how to treat people.

As I was driving back to work, all I could think about was driving off a bridge and ending my life. Maybe she would straighten herself out if dad was gone because he couldn't take anymore. I obviously didn't drive off a bridge or I would not be writing this right now. But I am so upset about everything. My little angel all those years has so quickly been self destructive and mean.

I am so upset and sad right now!!!!!!!!