Sometimes I just feel like I dont belong. Like its a constant struggle to fit in even though everyone completely accepts me. So why do i feel like an outsider? Maybe I dont fit in with myself…I dont even know who I am…i cant figure out my personality and what I should look like and what my future will be like because I dont even know who I am and everytime i think about it i get so overwhelmed and I just start crying.

Its like Life is a constant battle. A never ending war. A constant struggle to keep your head above water, because if you dont you drown. And the water is so cold, shrinking your lungs, so rough with giant waves always trying to push you under.

Nothings ever fair, and everyone is so judgemental! I cant ven talk to other people in front of my mom in fear she wont approve or will correct or will say i did it all wrong! I cant even get my own drivers license becasue she is soo perfect at driving and if i do something wrong it is repeated over and over!!!! its her nature though and Ive tried talking to her about it…but she cant change herself because she knows who she is and she has a personality–unlike me who is a drifting soul with no purpose.

My dad has sum dumb girlfriend who knows NOTHING! she is soo stupid and MANIPULATING! she acts like shes 13 when shes 30 and cant grow up she has manipulated me out of my own home…my brother stayed but we both feel awkward around our "new" dad it makes me want to scream and cry and I would if I ever got a minute ALONE I HATE HIM SOMETIMES!!!!!

I hate never having any control over my life.

 

I hate not knowing what to do with my life.

 

I hate not knowing who I am.

3 Comments
  1. Rainstar 11 years ago

    I kno it probably  doesn't really help, but just kno that someone else has been where you are & that she does care.

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  2. NuNu06 11 years ago

    i understand completely because that's how im feeling right now. i was just thinking to myself where did it happen in my life that i just dont know who iam or what i want out of life. so i completely understand where u are coming from. hopefully both of us can get through it.

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  3. ninjatastic 11 years ago

    I know how you feel. I can relate so much to how you feel it's scary. I can't even imagine being an adult because I have no idea what I want to do with my life and nothing seems appealing. It's like i'm working towards a future that I haven't even figured out. I too constantly feel like an outsider. I have friends but I always have this feeling of isolation they tell me they care and that I belong but I don't believe or feel like it. I'm sorry for going into everything I feel. But I just wanted to let you know that I definately understand and sympathize with a lot of your feelings. I hope things look up for you:)

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