Sometimes I just feel like I dont belong. Like its a constant struggle to fit in even though everyone completely accepts me. So why do i feel like an outsider? Maybe I dont fit in with myself…I dont even know who I am…i cant figure out my personality and what I should look like and what my future will be like because I dont even know who I am and everytime i think about it i get so overwhelmed and I just start crying.
Its like Life is a constant battle. A never ending war. A constant struggle to keep your head above water, because if you dont you drown. And the water is so cold, shrinking your lungs, so rough with giant waves always trying to push you under.
Nothings ever fair, and everyone is so judgemental! I cant ven talk to other people in front of my mom in fear she wont approve or will correct or will say i did it all wrong! I cant even get my own drivers license becasue she is soo perfect at driving and if i do something wrong it is repeated over and over!!!! its her nature though and Ive tried talking to her about it…but she cant change herself because she knows who she is and she has a personality–unlike me who is a drifting soul with no purpose.
My dad has sum dumb girlfriend who knows NOTHING! she is soo stupid and MANIPULATING! she acts like shes 13 when shes 30 and cant grow up she has manipulated me out of my own home…my brother stayed but we both feel awkward around our "new" dad it makes me want to scream and cry and I would if I ever got a minute ALONE I HATE HIM SOMETIMES!!!!!
I hate never having any control over my life.
I hate not knowing what to do with my life.
I hate not knowing who I am.