Hey everyone,

So this whole big thing happened Sunday night…I had the worst panick attack I've had in a while. I overheard my husband's parents talking about me AGAIN, this time, his sister was part of the conversation. I didn't purposley got and listen, I was just on my couch and I kept hearing my name mentioned so of course, I had to get up and listen to what the hell they were talking about. I'm not going to go through everything being said but the general conversation seemed to be demeaing comments about my art career and how I'm struggling, how I'm not doing well with the "career" right now. Then I heard whispering and giggling….my skin gew to be hot and prickly and I wanted to scream. So long story short, Eric gets home, I tell him I've had enough, we need to leave, he says we can't, I cry, I yell at him, then he talks to his mom, then things are weird for the next few days. Then the other day his dad comes up to me and says, "You know I love you right?" So I just put on my good old American girl face and laugh it off saying, "Oh, ha, of course, yes I love you too," then I hauled ass out of there.

This is another one of those really trying times in my life. The kind that is so bad you don't even know how it could end well. I thought after the last time I was here at rock bottom which was only 5 years ago, that I wouldn't have to face a time like this again…but here I am. I'm trying to be positive and hopeful, but its just left and right there's just bad news. Rejections left and right, things like what happened on Sunday night, how do you stay positive when there's just no end in sight?