Obsessiveness… 

My brother has OCD. Does it run in families? 

Someone wrote in my last blog that I seemed obsessive. 

Thought about that comment. Stood outside myself for a sec. 

When I lost my grandfather (first major death in my life… we were close), I was torn apart that I didn't get a chance to say goodbye and angry that he had lied to almost everyone about his terminal condition. His cancer was acute and aggressive and deadly. He went into a coma with little warning.

Since that time, I find it particularly hard when people that I consider important to me leave without notice or reason. Generally, I'll try to find out what happened, but if there is no answer I will begrudgingly accept it. Part of my difficulty in accepting it  probably goes to my insecurity about myself… I wonder what I did to make them leave. Another part of it is legitimate concern for that person. Especially here, where everyone has a bit of baggage, my mind goes to worst case scenarios. 

On the other hand, I don't think my actions were inappropriate in this case, nor generally. I know from experience that if someone tells me that want me out of their life, even with no real explanation, I go out of my way to abide their wishes. I may think of them for a bit, but when that's it, that's it. 

In this particular case, my friend left this site after sending me a message. When her account shut down, that message disappeared. We both supported one another over the last couple of weeks (nothing intense, just a burgeoning friendship I hoped) so yeah, I'm concerned, curious what was in that message and hopeful she is okay.

So, again, i don't think throwing out two blogs saying goodbye and posting an alternate email account if she wants to contact me is obsessive… I think it's trying to be a friend. I'm not that experienced socially, but that's the least I imagine friends do for friends. 

Anyhow, that's it. I hope she is okay, I hope she contacts me again and I send all my best to her with thanks for being there for me over the short time we were on these boards.

You is good people dysfunctionalgrl75. 

Peace 

And yeah, I think too much 🙂