Earlier, I wrote that I wasn't going to go to the fair with my Mom because I'm sick of trying to please other people while everyone completely ignores me. And I stuck to my guns, I didn't go. And when Mom brought up going to see some Predator movie instead, I basically ignored her so she asked my brother if he wanted to go and, surprise, surprise, he said no, he was too busy gaming. So she went alone.

I immediately felt bad, as per usual, but I told myself to toughen up and not give in. She may have bought me that Wii but she still treats my brother like a baby, she still spoils him and pities him like he has a rough life and treats me like I'm a miniature version of my Dad. But when she wants to go somewhere, who do you think goes with her? Me. Whether I want to or not, I've forced myself along with her on many occassions while no one can be bothered to ever keep me company. I miss all the movies I want to see because no one else wants to go and I don't have anyone to talk to. Why do I have to go along with people or entertain them or listen to them talk about themselves when they don't even like being around me?

She got back from the movies about half an hour ago and she let it be known that she wasn't very happy, like she was angered by not having any company. She acted as if all she does is spend time by herself because no one wants to go anywhere which is why she went to the movies alone. And this is how I feel every day of my life. That was my point. It's lonely, infuriating, and hurtful. My birthday passed by and no one even acknowledged it. No one asked me if I wanted to go anywhere, no one said happy birthday, my boyfriend wasn't home to talk to me online, I just sat around angry or crying. But she won't take anything from this, she won't understand what is upsetting me.

I've been more disconnected from my family this summer than I ever have been before.


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