Moving along…I was heading over to my house this morning (where the wife and kiddos live) I had a bunch of stuff to do there so I needed to grab my work gloved etc before leaving my parents where I am living for now.  As I go and grab my old  work bag I rustle through it find the gloves, my first aid kit and some other stuff like bug spray and sun block…then my hand falls upon a familiar shaped bottle…I give it a quick shake and that fear suddenly rips through my…I look and here in my hand is a Bottle of Xanax…Now yes I am an Alcoholic in and out, however I did enjoy the feeling that I could obtain from said Xanax…However that is not where my mind went…Here comes the INSANITY, I texted my wife and asked her if she knew anyone who wanted them, (now in the past her sister used to get them from me) She immediately texted back "THROW THEM OUT" I was persistent I said "Hey maybe your sister wants them"? Now I shoudl have also said that my inlaws do not care much for me right now…but in my moment of insanity I thought…Well now if I give these to Kari she will like my because I have done something for her and that gives me a feeling of validation that I am a GOOD PERSON….HAHA holy shit I am an Addict in recovery trying to give drugs away to make myself feel better about me? What the fuck was that…So how did the story end…I flushed the pills…Went to my meeting and shared the morning  with them.  Now I share it with all of you…I filled the middle of the day with many good things as well as spending 4-5 hours with my kids having dinner and going to the park…As I headed to my meeting this evening I have had an echo in my head all night…"Is Sobriety Enough….Is That as GOOD as it gets" I think I know the answer to that now…and that is When I no longer have to ask that then it is…and then I can begin to Live…

1 Comment
  1. hellbent73 12 years ago

    I promise that sobriety is just the tip of the iceburg! The life that has unfolded before me is better than I ever could have imagined. Keep up the great work. You did an amzing job today!

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