my ocd has been off the charts lately.  last friday…i went to a daughter/daddy date night with 3 of my daughters.  there were games and dancing.  the chicken dance came one and there was the part where people join hands and go in a circle.  one hand was holding my daughter's and my other was holding one of their friends that was there with her dad.  normal enough right?  since then i have been obsessing so much about that dance….about holding this other 8 year old girls hand.  for a moment when the song started i had a brief thought about this girl…so brief that i don't know if it was a thought about holding her hand…or just an impulse….or whatever.  i was in a good mood so i pushed the thought out fairly quick.  then i joined hands with my daughter at some point…and my other dad told the girl to grab my hand.  when we were going in circles….i was telling myself it was no big deal…and trying not to notice a groinal response….then we unjoined hands….and i didnt put myself in that situation again…..i know i'm very obsessive.  later that night….i didn't obsess about it at all and thought i handled the evening well.  since then..it has been downhill.  i don't really think there was a sexual intention….but wonder if there was any intention…..questions like "did i want to hold her hand….or did i want to hold her hand over other girls because maybe she was cuter.  i have been pretty tormented lately by this.  i feel like i may be a sick man or something.  i don't want to bother my wife with it because she gets tired of me telling her my obsessions.  did i do something wrong?  is it my ocd?  if my brief thought or subconscience or conscious intention wrong?  is it normal?  i need some help sorting this out….is it something i have to accept about human nature?  are other people drawn to cuter people in general….young or old?  please help!!   

1 Comment
  1. sammyd 15 years ago

    hello

    I think  this sounds like its is your OCD. Things like that happen in normal every day occurences. However since you have OCD the second something  like this happen you have a bad thought or image you “think” you felt somthing. You did nothing wrong, ok. I have let things like this get the better of me way waaaaaaay to many times, thinking im some kind of sicko. When its not me at all, ive done nothing wrong. However in my head my OCD is working on high voltage trying to make me think horrible things when actully I don’t want to. ya know? And yes everyone is drawn to atractive people, or attractive anything for that matter. I hope i’ve helped, trying to help you has made me feel abit better. 🙂

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