The Last few weeks have been hard from me, I have felt under constent pressure, but today that feeling has finaly lifted.
you see i have asister who is 18 months younger then me, who is away at university but has recentley been home for xmas break, but went back yestoday.
now its fair to say that me and my sister dont get on, we are always rowing and i hate the tention in the house when she is arround, also her and my mother never get on and i always feel stuck in the middle. this visit was as bad as any, she was rude and screaming and shouting the whole time she was home, and on meny occations reduced me and my brother to tears. now she has gone the atmosfer in the house is much better.
also me and my sister are always in compertion, she is alot like me in her looks althugh she is lucky to be a size 4 and has long blond hair and blue eyes. ontop of that she is alot more inteligent then me, when we last checked she had a iq of 137 compaired to mine which is 131. the stress when she is at home is unreal, i dont know why i put myself throught it but i always feel like ihave to be perfect esspeicaly when she is arround, otherwise i end up feeling second best and worthless.
THis made xmas hard as my ocd is pretty bad at the min so everything had to be perfet, i wraped one present 17 times and kept buying more and more becasue the first one wasnt good enough, i was alos worried that although i know drew loves me to bits, when he saw my sister, he would want her over me as many of my ex’s have in the past. to make it worce, i oculdnt exactley share my feelings on this so insted i kept botteling it up and feeling wprce and worce.
but now she has gone home and life is back to normal and i feel so much better, is that wrong that my sister is one of the things that trigers my OCD?
on a good note i over heard drew talking to his mate and i over heard him saying my siter isnt a patch on me and thta i am far better both in my looks and personality