Don’t you hate being tired but u can’t sleep. So many things happening right now that I guess it’s got me all wound up. My kids will be starting school in 2 weeks and I still haven’t bought all my eldest sons clothes or backpack. My lil one is set thank goodness for uniforms. He will be in kindergarden. I am anxious and sad. Anxious because he is kind of a free spirit… a lil too free. Has been very spoiled by my husband and just like to do his own thing. I am praying to God that he settles down a lil once he gets into school. It makes me feel like such a failure as a mother though. Not being able to control him at times. I have to get real loud, mean, and almost have to spank him (I do more threatening than anything) to get him to know I’m serious. Meanwhile daddy is the favorite parent, giving my lil one everything he wants. What my husband doesn’t realize is that he is doing more harm than good. I’m the wicked witch in my kid’s eyes. I don’t mean to be but there has to be boundaries otherwise they will run a muck. With all the order I try to keep I have never been able to bond with my kids. With my eldest my mom was the one who was spoiling my son. I got control of that situation but now my husband is doing the same with my lil one. It’s a never ending battle. Why can’t they see that I am trying to make them better ppl. Idk. I just feel like such a worthless failure. I’m trying to do the best I can. I guess my best just isn’t good enough…. SIGH :sad:!!
It’s 1:24 am pst
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