Well in case you do not know, i had a major breakthrough in the relationship area of my life. Let me fill in the pieces. A long time ago I feel in love with this really nice lady, Debra, and since then i have been obsessed with being with her. Well, Debra and I never dated or anything like that. Are relationship was mainly, talking on the telephone. Well after exchanging dialogue with her over the last couple of days, it has helped me to move on. Which was my plan from the begining. I never knew why I was obsessed with her, or why I even loved her, it was just a feelings. This experience has taught me many things about OCD. I have learned that ocd somehow is triggered by a simple function, like sleep, hunger, desire, emtion,love, passion. The brain also has higher functions, what it does is it takes the smaller functions and makes more complex procedurs out of them. The ocd must in some way trigger the brain or I should say, not trigger the brain to start or stop. allthough your living life in the higher functions of your brains, the disorder locks you in the basic functions, andits almost like instinct takes over. The good thing is I got to bring closure to this whole debra thing, and has allowed me to move on. I didn’t think it was right to lust after other women if i ws in love with one woman. Thats probably why i get panic attacks around women. I probably feel the need to be faithful to the one I love, but my uper mind knows i have to move on, but my lower mind doesn’t want to. I still have no idea why when i first meet women, i come across as a axe murder. I think maybe I should start going to clubs with a axe slinged around my shoulder. he he…

2 Comments
  1. cari 14 years ago

    Good for you about Debra/your breakthrough…interesting analytical way of looking at OCD…I don’t recommend the axe! lol…

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  2. mattbenjamin50 14 years ago

    In a way i think that the reason why the gods have chosen this path of life for me, was so i could lern these experiences by living thorugh them. Instead about reading them in a college book. I feel, that i am going to make decent pyschologist. The one things ocd has done for me is it has sort of fused all my ideas in desires into one thing, and give it tremendous purpose.

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