Early Friday morning, I'll be flying out to my hometown…Good ol' Nebraska. Back where I was born, where I grew up for 14 years, back where every problem and feeling of desperation was sprouted, back to where I followed ignorance as far as it would take me.

I'm scared. I've typed messages to my old [few] friends that I think I can trust, and arranged dates to hang out one last time [considering I'm not planning on ever going back.] However, I'm terrified about what they'll think. I'm terrified they don't want to see me, they're better off in their own lives. That I'll just be an unwanted person obliging them to waste their time. I'm terrified at the idea that none of my friends will set any time up to meet up, and those few that have-will blow me off. I'm absolutely, dreadfully terrified about what they'll think up in their complicated heads.

Why can't I be positive, confident, and love what I have, rather than just wanting more?

See, humans always want something they can't have. I always want everything I can't have. Greed and jealousy…just another evil that dissovles our world.

Anyways, I'll be there for about 10 days, so no Depression Tribe, and no [full use of] Facebook or Myspace.

My Tumbler's queue will be running: violetdreamland.tumbler.com

But anyways.

[Ooh, and I get to meet up with a forum friend! No, he's not a rapist. Not a sicko. Yes, I promise to be careful around him.]

Have a great summer, everybody, and I hope y'all enjoy the rest of your June!

 

"Every living creature on earth dies alone."

— Donnie Darko

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