I just had a massive fight with my mum..i HATE it when we fight..im so sick of it..when i try to explain something to her she just yells at me..or when i try and tell her something..she never listens to me..she always makes me feel so bad and down all the time..sometimes they get so bad like this one and i start having suicidal thourghts…and think of running away and never comming back…im sure my family would love that..they dont want me or so they say they dont..I’m so sick of it when we fight mum..you always jump straight down my throat and never listen to what i got to say..you always think you is right..well i tell you im intitled to my opinions too..how dare you make your own daughter feel this bad..you soposed to be my mum..your soposed to listen to me when i have a problem and try and help me in the best way you can..not just jump down my throat and scream at me.."STOP BEING STUPID AND JUST BE NORMAL!!!!" she screams..i can never tell you anything..im soposed to be able to tell you how i feel..thats what mothers are for..but no not you..your always taking it the wrong way..cos you dont listen and try to understand me..then you scream at me then thats when i start yelling..you always think your perfect and no one else..well i can tell you now nobodys perfect not even god..Mum all i want from you is for you to listen to me..understand me..i want to be able to talk to you like daughters do to their mums..Mum i just wanna have that good mother daughter relationship..but its too late for that now..you;v hurt me..you’v hurt me so bad that i cant even call you mum anymore..i dont even class you as my mother anymore..beileve me i wish i could..but i cant..i just wish things were how they used to be when i was little..when dad was around..like how you always say to me.."you used to be such a happy child,always had that cheeky smile on your face.."Mummy Mummy cuddles, kisses"..i wish i could love you again mum i really do..but that love just isnt there anymore..im sorry..i truely am..but you know what you did was wrong..you say you were trying to protect me..no you weren’t..you just wanted to take away the one thing in my life that matterd to me..and that i loved so so much..you really hurt me..you did..and for that i can no longer forgive you..there is no love there at all for you..yo think there is some but i tell you the truth there is none..nothing..All i wanted was to be a family again..but no you just took it all away..and left dad with nothing..you are so cruel and have such a cold hreat..i dunno how he could ever love you..nor forive you for that matter..i knoe i dont..and never will..things will never be the same as they once were..you may think that this is all just a teenage phaise joke..but i will tell you right now..the truth mummy no it isn’t just a teenage phaise its the TRUTH!! and the sooner you accept it the sooner you can move on in your life..so STOP pretending that it isnt real and its not the truth cos it is..this IS the truth this is how iv felt for a very very long time about you..since i was 8 years old..and iv been holding on,keeping it in like a BIG secert for almost 6 years now..and i think that is way long enough..i just cant do this anymore..i really cant..you could of done the right thing mum but no you chose to wreck it all not for just me but all of us..and you wonder why we fight, you wonder why i talk to you like dirt..you wonder why i dont love you anymore..open your eyes woman and accept the fact that there is no longer love there…i cant believe its taken you 17 whole years to relies that..even your still trying to figure it out..it amazes me..you’v hurt me, you’v ruiand me, you’v crushed me like a bug..and the worst part is you dont see it, you dont care enough to releis..how much pain im in..you know iv always wanted a mother who i could talk to, a mum who would listen to me and understand me through everything..i so badly wish i had that..it really breaks ny hreat to know that you dont care..but thats the way it is..so i have to accept..i dont want to..but i have to…so now you know the truth..i know your truth..now i think its time i tell you mine..iv felt this way for too long about you mum..and i will never love you the same as i once did..sorry if that hurts..but you really hurt me…i hope your happy with what you’v done to me and the family..really you should be ashamed of how you’v made me feel..what you;v put me threw..and now im suffering..why? because of you..you have scard me for life..and it will never heal..my pain will never heal..you have ruiand me..forver..it will never get better..never go away..cos what you did to me is always there..stuck..and for that i never will love you again..ever again..and that is the honest truth..you’v killed me…i can no longer say i love you..cos its just not there anymore..iv said it amillion times and i will say it again I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE MUM, YOU KILLED ME!!! so accept it..face it..cos its never gonna change..even if you tihnk it will oneday..im telling you it WONT! so why dont you just get it to sink in that cruel,selish bitch head of yours and be done with it..No longer you are my mum and no longer am i  your daughter..


Mood: BROKEN,CRUSHED,HURT,RUIAND

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