not feeling too great at the moment. have been doing so well over the past few months and it’s all gone downhill in just under a second 🙁

just come back from a great holiday with my boyfriend to my mum digging at me about not moving out. the thing is, i started with depression pretty soon after i started my a-levels and as a result have not done anywhere near as what was expected of me. i am of the age where i am supposed to be going off to university but because i have had to cut down on my subjects, i don’t meet the requirements for any course that me or my family want me to do :/

instead i have sorted myself out with some more a-levels at a college closer to where i live (my last one was 10 miles away and took me ages to get there but it was Catholic so i had to go) and feel much more confident this time. i have chosen subjects that i actually want to do and not want my parents urged me to do last time and my mother has done nothing but poke fun of my choices, saying that they "aren’t REAL subjects" 🙁

that has hurt me quite a bit but i have chosen to ignore her. but what i can’t ignore is the fact that i am trying to get my life back on track and she is constantly blaming me not moving out on all her troubles. the things is… her bloody husband is a useless drunk who hasn’t had a job in years and lives off benefits. why when i am trying my absolute hardest to make something of myself am i given flack for not moving out this year through really no fault of my own when that stupid layabout gets everything done for him?

it just makes me very angry and upset that he can do no effing wrong when everything i seem to do is just a drain on her 🙁