I've swept through the blogs (including my own, self written ones) and found that depression seems to be full of self indulgence … and it had me thinking … the more i thought about myself, my problems and issues … the more depressed i became.
I can't tell whether it's personal: that when I let things go that aren't worth worrying/bothering over … things are easier and smoother … i feel better …
However, the depression creates this self indulgence or self importance, in which I imagine a world completely evolving around me … and become depressed when I'm drawn back to reality in which it doesn't.
So what is the answer to this potentially long-term situation … we're being told to identify our problems and take them on i.e. Lost our jobs … work out why we did, work out our next steps and work out how to get bk on track … or lost a lover we're told to work out what we did wrong, how to improve etc etc
But what if we let it go?
As depressed, we automatically blame ourselves and try to change. We hope this will make us better in the long-term. But I feel it's this lack of self acceptance is what is making us depressed …
Why do we have to analyse everything we do?? Why can't we just move on as we are?? It's impossible to fit in everywhere and with everyone … and maybe that's whats wrong … We're trying to fit into the wrong group, and in doing so we're losing ourselves: So we go back to how WE can change, and what WE'RE doing wrong and before you know it, WE'VE slipped into self indulgence again.
So do we change who we are and hope to be accepted, even if your not the person you hoped to be?? Do we keep self-blaming and become the person we want to be and lose who we were at that start??
What is the way forward??
Strive to be the person we think we want to be?
Or strive to be comfortable in our own skin, by changing the situation around us?
Do we let the self indulgence go … and just move on? Or do we keep the self indulgence and hope someone will hear the cry for help?