I have always been bland, always overlooked, always ignored. I want some fucking attention for once. I'm in college now, I've never fallen below a 3.0 GPA and have even reached a 3.9. What do I have to do to get someone to listen to me?!?!
I know that my family is uneducated, I do. But does it really take a rocket scientist to look at the pictures I took and look at the edited version and see what I've learned? My Mom has this annoying fucking habit of just saying "yeah" in like a really uninterested and noncommittal tone. It's her way of saying, "I'm not interested, please don't bother me, I'm watching TV. I really hope she just goes away…" I know because she gives that same response to my Dad a lot.
My Dad doesn't usually say anything at all and my brother is the same way. My boyfriend, who has often become excited over what I consider to be shitty music, just says "good job" or "cool". Gee, thanks. Maybe I should put on a skimpy outfit and sing out of tune and shake my breasts and ass and then he'd call me talented like his favorite "artists".
I know I have a lot to learn but I've done a lot and come a long way and I feel really depressed and upset right now and I would really appreciate it if my family and/or my boyfriend took an interest in my life instead of acting like they don't give a shit.
And you know what else? I feel like everything is about my boyfriend now, absolutely everything. I have to sit and listen to him talk about his boring fucking homework because naturally, everyone just loves Physics and Calculus right? I don't understand what he's saying and I don't care! I hate that work, I don't want to hear about it, I don't want to listen to him bitch every day and then brush me off when I get mad or want to talk about my own interests. Yes, I am in a very, very foul mood. I am very, very sick of being ignored and judged. Yes, I know that it's unpleasant for him and that I'm being difficult but I don't see how everyone ignoring me and talking about themselves is supposed to make me feel better.
I want…to scream…