I have been so apprehensive about returning to work. I have been almost hyper making sure I have clothes that won’t cause criticism from my boss. I got a haircut and got my nails done. I bought new shoes (we can wear athletic shoes but I wanted to be sure I looked nice–my supervisor loves to criticize my appearance). I worked so hard to get ready that I just crashed a lot of the weekend.
I actually had a pretty good day yesterday. My partner Caroline is having periods of dissociation which are scaring her to death. I have finally convinced her to try posting on sites like this–she’s picked different ones from me. Doing so seemed to help, but it brought a lot up for her. She didn’t tell me how freaked out she was, nor that she was feeling as though everyone was going to abandon her. I didn’t know how bad off she was and I got really scared about work last night. I asked for support, and didn’t know what mood she was in, so we both ended up in tears.
I don’t mean to go on forever, but here we went through all this angst, and today Richmond has had the worst snowstorm we’ve had in years!! And my office is closed!! God gave me a nice little blessing. When I get to work tomorrow, all anyone’ll be able to talk about is the snow, and hopefully I can fly under the radar.
And, I had to call my supervisor, the one that I’m so afraid of, to find out what number to call to see if we were closed!! So I’ve gotten the initial contact overwith. She’s further out in the country and snowed in. She was not friendly, but was not actively unfriendly. I think I’ve jumped at least a little hurdle.
All that worry and upset and it was really unnecessary. What a great lesson for me to really stick with the serenity prayer and with one day at a time!!
Thanks for listening.