Just joined today so am a little new to this…

I am currently not working as I put my back out a couple of weeks ago so I'm a little "incapacitated".. at the moment and the doc has given me 3 months off work. Just spent 2 wks in hospital which was pretty depressing also as none of my family (except my kids and my ex) came to visit me (only for an hour..) Thankfully my friends did as that kept me going and made me feel better within myself. I may or may not need surgery, I have to have more tests/scans done to see exactly what the problem is before they do anything too drastic..

I've suffered from depression for quite a few years, it escalates for a while then I go ok for a while, so I'm always "up and down".  My mum passed away in September last year from Cancer, so I have found that really hard to accept and deal with.  I was so close to my mum, she helped me through so much and was always there for me when I needed her.  I live on my own and have done for the last 3 and half years as I'm now divorced from my husband.  So loneliness is starting to play a big factor also.  I'm on Zoloft for my depression now, which is helping. Have tried so many other medications but none of them helped or worked and I suffered terrible side affects from most of them.

For those who read this I just want to say "hello" and I hope that I make some new friends off this site also.  I'm looking for ways of support and self help so that I'm not constantly relying on other "outside" people, as I'll be spending so much time at home for a while now.  I am currently undergoing counselling with the Mental Health team here which has been great, but by joining this site I hope that I can gain some insight as to how other people cope and to meet new people that are going through the same or similar experiences.  Cheers 🙂

  1. gypsy 13 years ago

    Thank you so much Steve, it is a slow process and I am realising just how much time this is going to take before things are even somewhat "normal". I am just frustrated at my family at the moment, because they haven't offered any support or anything and they just don't understand – even with my back and being in hospital they obviously just think "she'll be right". I'm so angry and hurt also that they are this way towards me, everything seems like an effort for them when it involves me. Anyway, I'm going to spend the wknd with my kids which will be great. I will certainly add you so that we can write to eachother more. Cheers, Tracey.

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  2. hayes77 13 years ago

    So lovely to hear your honesty about what you have been going through.It helps on this site as as a 'tribe of friends' we can hear you out and see where we could fit in with support for you. Not to take over, that's your journey. But you can recover from this. Though right now with back pain, lack of understanding and a family loss I empathise with you.

    One thing I learnt is that family don't mean to have this attitude. All this is foreign to them. They just want you to be okay and probably have a hard time accepting that your not. Often it means they have to look at themselves too which can be hard. It interesting observation is that those who are depressed are not in denial that "things aren't right", those who are not are often in a denial phase that blocks out natural depression they may normally feel. At least you are being honest,open and willing right now, AND THATS BRILLIANT!  I've found a good quality of those who get depressed is that we do take a good hard look at ourself – maybe too much – but be proud of that. Have patience with your family. They clearly don't understand but with time they could well do. I bet they love you too bits, but they have there own hidden demons to fight because depression and other mental health issues don't randomly seem to happen in one family. Hold in your heart that they too are struggling but this doesn't detract from the love they surely have for you but have difficulty to express in just the way you really need right now. Together, here on the the tribe and with your other supports we can be like a family and help kick these ups and downs, the guilt and the lonliness. It can be done. Much love and friendship, Hayley.  

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