I’ve had it.  I was up last night laying in bed until at least 7am.  Watching the daylight come. Brain would not shut off.
I get up today around 12:30, and am on my 2nd day of taking the Prozac.  I am not as nausous as yesterday, but the anxiety is incredible.  I had plans to get up early and get out do errands but could not even face the outside world that’s how much the anxiety was absorbing every inch into my body.  I took a 1/2 of a valium to try to combat the anxiety, and waited till about 6:30, couldn’t take not going, so went.  Battled through it while driving and going in and out of stores, my sis came w/me, but she has no idea – well, I told her, but she doesn’t get it – so she was taking forever and talking her head off, while i am just sitting there trying to focus on my deep breathing and staying calm. 

Then going out, I get my mail, only to find out I am not elegible for unemployment benefits??? Are you F***ING kidding me? 
Long story short, I have never been on unemployment in my life, & had no idea what it involved all the requirements etc.  I took a job in February, and was fully aware that it lays people off from December through March, but she said I could collect unemployment while I was laid off.  Before this job, I was working for a few months at another place,but my anxiety attacks and depression got so bad I had a nervous breakdown one morning on my way to work and had to quit, so I basically took a leave from working for a while before this job I have now while my boyfriend paid the bills (and not so nicely or happily either).  I finally couldn’t take getting screamed at and verbally abused from being out of work anymore so that’s when  I got this job.
Now, I was laid off from the 28th of November, applied online to PA un. & called a week later only to find out that they never received my initial claim online, then applied over the phone that day, then another week later I call for status and they still can’t tell me anything, then basically, I have been waiting for a month for them to tell me that I cannot get unemployment because the ‘quarters’ don’t match up to 20% or some shit?  GOD, I’m seriously just beside myself right now. 
So, I have no money left because I only saved enough money to pay December’s bills and necessities thinking I’d have the UC checks coming in by January at the latest.  WTF….. ugh.  It is seriously just one thing after the other.  I have a headache now.
Oh and if it’s not enough that now I have no money for bill paying, no money to take care of my cat, no money to even feed myself the economy is in such turmoil that I’m lucky if I can quickly find a job that pays decent enough money.  And I do mean that I have NO money. 
And out of the three of us, I’m the only one who has major problems that affect day to day life seriously, outside of the mental, I have scoliosis which started as only cervical and ended up now it’s taking hold of my whole spine, spondylosis (athritis/bone disintegration of the spine)…
What the f–k am I supposed to do now.  🙁  ……. venting majorly….I’m seriously not needing that additional pile dumped on me right now of now having to worry about paying bills, getting a job or begging my current employer to hire me back to work asap and not in March and suffering until then, feeding myself and my cat… God I’m so tired of fighting, it’s always something…………………..

1 Comment
  1. robbo66 13 years ago

    Darl I went thru that with Prozac. some people it keeps awake,so the doc suggested that I take it at Night time b4 bed instead of mornings.

                                    Good luck hun


    0 kudos

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