Thank you to everyone who had kind words for me, I really appreciate it.

I'm not really sad anymore…just kind of numb. I don't know what to do with myself, I'm tired but I don't know if I can sleep. I don't want to game or read. I thought that maybe I'd watch some tv but I don't feel like doing that either so I'm sitting in the living room with it off.

What I really want is companionship. My ex isn't able to talk with me right now because he doesn't have his phone or his computer. If he did, I know he'd be here keeping me company. I hoped that maybe the new guy would be a little compassionate but he hasn't been around. I asked if he still wanted to hang out when I do manage to get back and he asked why he wouldn't want to. So we're still on when I return so that's good…but I just miss that feeling of being loved right now, when I feel I need it most.

I didn't expect him to comfort me, he's not my boyfriend and we haven't even met in person yet…but I was hoping for something, even something small. Everyone I know is either gone or just not paying attention.

I've actually ended up spending most of my time blankly staring at my pigeon…yes, my pigeon. I saved a pigeon today, or at least I hope I did/have. His wing is injured so my Dad and I caught him, put him in a box, and I brought him home. I fed him some bird seed and gave him water and he gobbled a good bit of it up…but he's been sitting in the same corner not moving for hours now. He blinks, turns his head sometimes, but otherwise he just huddles up in his corner…I hope the poor little guy gets some sleep. We're probably going to call the vet tomorrow to see if they can do anything for him. When he gets better, we can let him go again…would I have to take him back to town for that? Would a town pigeon survive in the country? O.o

Maybe I can sleep now that I've vented a little bit.