(Alice by Victim Effect is pretty good to.)

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so, i've been M.I.A today because i've literally been fighting non-stop with mom today, all because i tried to share my feeling to her.

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she got bitter and mad, she made it my fault again. but was worse, saying I killed her, i'm the meanest person shes met (liar, that you) and said some really cruel stuff.

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to the point when we were fighting i was crying on the phone calling local shelters because i didn't want to deal with this anymore.

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it took a 360 turn when we were fighting again but said she deserves to know more about why i'm the way i'm am.

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so out of anger I told her about me sexual harrasment. it's happened multiple time- with the group tht kept fooling me 24/7 in school and with strangers on the street.

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they did it to see me cry, because I knew they weren't serious, I knew no guy would want someone as disgusting ans fat and disgusting as me.

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I remember walking home alone one day in middle school, I think it was my first year, this car of guy-older- maybe high school I don't know- who I had NO idea who they were,

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rolls down the window the yells "I want to have sex with you!" there was a cross guard near but she didn't saying anything.

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I was humiliated, but i kept walking, then literally a few miutes later they drove by AGAIN. and kept saying some other things.

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I was scared and humilitated- I didn't know if they were gonna follow me all the way home, and humiliated because it wasn't the truth just a prank on a girl they didn't even know.

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again I didn't tell her anything speific (i don't think i can do that here wither yet..)but it was enough to calm her down and turn her anger on other people.

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My face is red and irritated from crying today, plus I actually had to LEAVE to house because it was my first meeting witht he EDMR therapist…i forgot her name at the moment.

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I was teriffied the whole time, i could feel people staring at my reddend face. i stared at the grounf the whole time, and waited outside until she called me.

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it went okay, EMDR is different…but maybe that's good.

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it's been a horrific day and took many turns. i hope i drained enough engery to pass out tonight.

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atleast she has a meeting with the district tomorrow so HOPEFULLY she'll be going back to work this week.

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