I suffer from male anorexia. The idea of eating too much, eating the wrong foods, and the fear of weight gain, is always with me. There isn’t a day that goes by now where the thought of not being healthy isn’t with me. I see so much junk food in our culture that it almost makes me disbelieve that people eat such garbage on a day to day basis. I have cut out almost all junk food and eat as healthy as I can. I do eat the occasional meal that is non-healthy but it isn’t often. 

A year ago I was not healthy; I was fat, and unable to do some of the things that I used too. That has changed through the pressures of a single friend who reminded me that I needed to take care of myself.   I have turned around completely and now health is my primary concern. What I eat and how I eat is important to me in order to live the life that I want to live. 
I do have a friend who doesn’t care about his health or what he eats. He only eats junk food, doesn’t exercise, and has no patience for those who do take care of themselves. OCD makes me feel that I could be that if I am not careful. That I have to do everything I can to avoid his life which is one of being extremely unhealthy.  
The problem with my OCD is that it tells me what to eat, how to eat it, what rituals I need to follow, what to be thinking of, etc., When I walk at times I have the fear that if I walk in the wrong way then I will gain weight or become unhealthy. I can never stop thinking about my health. When this friend is around I find myself unable to think straight at times because the fear of being unhealthy is with me. 
I need some support. I do eat so I am not an anorexic as most would understand. However, I do have the mentality of an anorexic and that is what troubles me. 
1 Comment
  1. apehangmom 13 years ago

    You need to talk to an expert… Anorexia isnt easy to cope with . But you are right the OCD is talking here…  The ocd is maybe more the problem … I feel like that also .. but know that with normal eating and exercise….. the OCD is not screaming at me in the mirror…  Its just taking Normal and makingit your normal….. keeping stress low probably makes things not so bad.  But your right about OCD being more than the anorexia .. I think that Anorexia is a form of OCD… But you may have to just set up a normal schedule to work out and a menu plan for the week and allow your self days off ..or meals where you have a  night off to eat that special something. If you feel that what your setting in place is normal …. then maybe when the urges hit… you will know that this is your OCD talking and you may be able to ignore the urges.., knowing your doing your best.  does this make sense to you,

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