Hi all,

I have a major problem that I'm sure some of you or maybe most/all of you guys might be able to relate to. My medications aren't working!!!! This has not only been the case in the last little while, but for about 3 or 4 years now I've been struggling with this. It is so frustrating and exhausting!!!! I have been on soooo many different kinds of drugs in these last few years, because we (my parents/psychiatrist) still haven't found "the right one". I am tired of this experiment, and of feeling like a laboratory rat who's being tested on. Despite all the new meds/changes in dosage, etc., nothing seems to be working. I am currently on a cocktail of drugs (I take 3 different psych drugs every day) and on top of that I have a thyroid condition, so I take pills for that too. I don't know when I am going to get better. Suffice to say, many times I have told my parents that I give up and will "never get better". Because of my OCD, I am almost 29 and I am still living with my parents, because I am not well enough to work and support myself independently.

In just the last FEW years, I have been prescribed (though not all at once) the following drugs: Abilify, Zeldox, Clomipramine, some pill I put under my tongue, (but I forget what it was called) Risperdal, Paxil, Benztropine, Mementine, and Addarax. I'm pretty sure that's all of them, unless I forgot something. It has just been one giant struggle and one problem after another. My parents have even commented from observing my behavior, that I am "toxic", and I completely agree with them.

Now lets talk about some of the side effects, shall we? Oh boy. Well it's true that my OCD has caused me to have aggressive/violent thoughts, but the Mementine made them a lot WORSE. So I got off that one. Also, I noticed that pretty much every time we increased the dosage of any of my medications, I have been worse, and because of that I needed to go back down on the dose. I knew instinctively that these things were going to happen and I was right every time, even though I was told that I had to "try" it out each time to see if there would be any "benefit". There wasn't. Plain and simple. And one more thing I'd like to add is the fact that when I get super stressed/anxious about anything, I get ITCHY!!!!! And it drives me insane, so I have to scratch the heck out of myself. I take the Addarax for this, though it doesn't always work. I even have scratch marks all over my arms and shoulders.

I don't know what to do next. Is anyone in the same boat as me?