Hey everyone…I'm at that point where I almost don't care anymore. I feel like I hate everyone and everything and I don't want to talk to anyone, do anything, not even sleep. I'm just so angy at my life-I hate it. I feel like its just one big joke. I really don't have any friends. THe one friend I used to depend on has turned into an asshole and doesn't give me the time of day anymore. My other best friend ruined my wedding and I havn't spoken to her since. THe only time I can recall being happy in a long time-not even on my wedding day-was when we got to go to Belize for our honeymoon. We asked for money towards that instead of gifts. It was the only time, the only place, where I can remember being happy. On the way back, Eric and I cried. I just don't want to keep going through the motions anymore. If I do manage to have a good day, my mother calls and cries to me about one of my brothers having a breakdown. My youngest brother had a manic episode the other day and broke his hand. My dad is a depressed mess, my mother is also nuts but is the only real parent to my disabled brothers, and I offer what help and support I can, but its not enough. Its so frusterating. Nothing is getting better.
I just feel like I hate everyone. My sister-in-law came to visit with her 6 year old son and I wanted nothing to do with either one of them. I hated them both for being here and I stayed in my room. I had my husnad tell them I was sick. I felt bad about it later but I couldn't help it. What is this rage?