So yesterday I have my doctors appointment. I'm coming to a critical point in my life where decisions NEED to be made. I'm a very indecisive person due to OCD and thought I could get help for that by trying to focus on the main goals and not get sidetracked by the daily drama of my life.
So right after that appointment I was feeling good. I was feeling like I was finally going to focus and not let anything sidetrack me from my task at hand. I was feeling in control and for once *gasp* confident!! And so I got in my car and checked my phone for messages and what do you think I saw? Who better to destroy any ounce of happiness and freedom I have than the good ol' EX.
Now before I continue my story, a little history:
Me and my ex were set up together in 2009. She also had depression which made the relationship difficult, but we were happy that we both understood eachother – or so I thought. Before I was officially diagnosed my OCD was crazy- going renegade whenever it was least convenient. My ex would get mad at me for doing the things Id do and would blame me for everything. It was an abusive relationship both psychologically and physically – but my fear of confrontation and my morals against using any sort of physical means to "communicate" especially aginst a girl, prevented me from doing anything. For 1 and 1/2 years I lived a life more miserable than I ever have. I would rather chose a lifetime of all the hells of OCD put together thatn to be in that relationship again. Which leads us to thursday.
She texted me on exactly 7months to the very day that I finally got up the nerve to break up with her. At first it was civilized talk: "How are you?" Have you been getting help?" "Hows school?" general stuff that I don't mind talking about. I'm fine with being just friends. But it seems that she is not content with that. Non-stop, all day yesterday and today she has texted me ranging from the civilized conversation, to sending messages such as "……..yea….i….ummmmmm……idk….just wondering……since you've changed………..nvm…………."
I refuse to answer those texts and have been ignoring them steadily. She then begins guilting me about the breakup saying things like: "i wish I could have gone to your sisters wedding, but then ….we……..yea….."
So im getting hammered with incoherent texts, using WAY too many elipses in her speech to even PERCIEVE a complete thought from her and I just feel like I'm getting harassed. And this is SEVEN MONTHS after we have been broken up. I KNEW seven was a bad number! I've ALWAYS known it! It took me so long to get over that relationship and now shes just digging up all the crap I buried deep down inside hoping it would never rear its ugly face again!
Anyone ever have one of those psycho ex's that just won't leave you the hell alone!! God I need a pick-me-up.
Wow, I'm sorry. I'm incredibly indecisive, as well. Drives me insane!
Anyway, I have a friend who keeps popping up every now and then (we only know each other online and on the phone). Every now and then we'll get to talking more again and everything will be going well, and I'll think "yes! it's just a good friendship again." Then he has to start e-mailing/IMing these cryptic things, talking about relationships, asking what characteristics I want in a man, saying things about how we really do have a lot in common now, etc. It's like, Dude! If you want to ask if a relationship is possible, just outright ask so I can give you a flat out answer! Enough with the annoying "hints" that will make me have to outright say something that will make me look mean! I've been doing the same thing you've been doing with your ex–ignoring those questions and statements. I hate doing that! I always try to be straight forward. But I am just tired of it. I feel really bad about it, but I've actually avoided him when I saw him online a few times recently.
Anyway, I suggest you just ask her outright "Are you trying to say you want to get back together?" See what she says. If she says yes, then go from there, telling her it won't work. Maybe I'll get the nerve to do that with my friend one of these days. In the meantime, if you don't have the nerve to do that or whatever, know there are others who understand. Hang in there.
i finally got sick of it last night and said "Look it sounds like you have something on your mind that you want to tell me. What is it?" and she sent back "….idk….just thought maybe….oh…..nvm…." and "I don't think……I ever stopped…….liking……mmmmmm…..nvm………" SHE STILLL HASN'T SAID IT.!
And so after reading that last one I'm just not answering any of these. If she wants to make my life miserable by making things awkward when I see her on campus then fine, she can't possibly make my life any more miserable than when I was together with her. If she gets the nerve to actually ask the question I'll return the favor by answering honestly.