Life aint fair if you know what I mean. You try hard to do your best but no matter what it will never be enough. You spend a good chunk of time with someone who means something to you all for nothing. The only person that you want and want to talk to won’t give you the time of day and has moved on. Sad memories etched in your mind of something that could’ve been. Feeling sick thinking about the opportunities and signs that’s you missed. You where so close to happiness you could taste it. But you let it slip through hands like a cracked egg.  Everyone tells you to be optimistic but being optimistic is a waste of time. Everyone says they will miss you when your gone but you’ll be forgotten after a few years once everyone heals. It’s just the cycle of this life.

I got to much on my mind feel like I might overload. Life is to hard and I might just take the easy way and overdose. I used to have a good heart until I realized that there isn’t anything that’s good anymore. Can’t find the right way to live this life anymore. Wish I had a reset button to reroll the dice. But unfortunately I’m delt cards that I no longer want to play with.

If anyone happens to find this I plan to write out notes on my pc as to what to do with my stuff and personal notes to people who “matter” to me if i actually go through with this.