I didn’t go to school today because my cold has gotten worse, I was awoken at 2:45 this morning coughing so much I threw up. So, I stayed home. I always feel guilty staying home. Anyway, I know my since my sister went to school she wouldn’t want to do chores after getting home. So, I cleaned up the kitchen and living room before my mom woke up. Then I went to bed. When I woke up I was feeling much better from the cold medicine and I decided to do some school work in my other three classes on virtual school. I turned in four modules in all three of my classes. That’s a lot for one day. That’s about 16 assignments in one day. I felt really good. I then decided I would take a shower and do my hair for tomorrow. When I’m undressed I look in the mirror and I stare at my thigh. All I see is cuts and scars covering my entire thigh I suddenly felt so ugly. I tried to push the thoughts out of my mind. I got into the shower and washed my hair and then blow dried it and straighten it and such. I didn’t eat much dinner because my stomach was hurting. That for some reason pissed my mother off. I even put the rest of my meal in the fridge for lunch. She yelled at me going on and on about how I was an ungrateful shit and I never did anything. All I did was sit in my room and complain about how lonely I was. She then repeatedly called me a pig and a bitch. I tried to run away to my room. But, she wouldn’t let me every time she did she would yell “Don’t you walk away when I’m talking to you!” after the third time of that I was done. My anxiety was through the roof and I was very close to a breakdown. I told her she was a rotten mother, out of spite. She stopped dead in her tracks and didn’t say anything. I’m now grounded for a week. She can’t take away my computer because I have school…so she took away my headphones. She kept calling me an emo faggot and then shut the door. For the past hour I’ve been freaking out. I’ve cut..alot and I don’t know what to do anymore. I know in the morning it’ll be, oh I didn’t mean it, it wasn’t my fault blah blah blah. But, you know what I DON’T FORGIVE HER. I’m fucking done with that now. DONE. She WILL not keep doing this to me. NOT. I can’t wait until I can get out of this fucking hell hole. I’m so done. I’m sorry….

1 Comment
  1. Bigwolf 9 years ago

    Hang in there. Anger can help us get through alot. She shouldn't be saying that crap to you anways.

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