I wanted things to b different…to not be about me.  well who then should be about…WHat  a mess today almost became…The evolution of my life on a daily basis is almost surreal at times.  THinking..yes I think And think,,,why not what am I supposed to do…Wait let go?  yeah I can do that too.  This must have been a long time in the coming…they say you begin thr relapse process way before you actually pick up…I realized shortley after I finished my 8am meeting that I has decided to drink…I had enough cash for a case of bourbon, I was off to the store…I paused for a few and stopped to talk to a friend (friend but NOT and Addict/Alcoholic)…she was really of no help..other than telling me that  she would never talk to me again..nor would I be welcome in her home…and that i was one selfish fuck, then started the why do you want to do this…then back to the selffish blah blah….I nicely excused myself and left…walked back to my house…and decided to let Peggy know what my plans were…She was not online…but mid sentance in the IM window she appeared and said "call me now"  I did, she talked to me…let me talk…stayed with me as I drove…while I stood outside the hall waiting for the meeting to start, she listened and spoke…Believe me…nothing was sugar coated…"Go out and drink if you think you have it in you.." "Hope you make it back" "not sure if you will" None of that angered me…I went up to the hall and was asked to chair the meeting…I did just that..there seemed to be a little shock in the room when I said what I had planned, which I told while I qualified…I have an AWESOME support group…and when the shit was bad today.  I realized no one person could help ME…and I could not do this alone…It was the Fellowship…the calming voice of an angel…and my Higher Power..yes it is a miracle that I did not drink today…for that I am greatful….For all of you I am greatful…This is HOW IT WORKS….

I love you all…ty Tribe…

1 Comment
  1. jefwheels 12 years ago

     Well Mike. This is really no supprise to me. It happens to many of us. I hope you see your Higher Power  in this. No coincidents that you were asked to chair the meeting. I know that you are a deep thinker Mike but keep this simple. Just another day in the life of a recovering addict. One more day clean. I’m glad you made it out alive.    Stay Strong and Stay Clean Brother.    Johnny wheels   

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