I know that life doesn’t always go the way we planned, BUT seeing others around me using their full potential & enjoying life the way I should be, it makes me mad.

I don’t regret moving back home & switching to a local school, but I miss my inidependence everyday.   Sharing laughs and seeing my 2 year old nephew smile makes it all worthwhile.

Why is it that some people have to go through life struggling just to live, while others get their lives handed to them on a silver platter?

I think when I perceive other people laughing, smiling, dancing, travelling, and having a good time with friends, I tend to drift away from them b/c I feel a sense of envy towards their perceived happiness.

I just feel like nothing good ever happens to me.

I love my nephew and he means more to me than anything in this world. I go out of my way to give him all the love I can b/c I know he has a rough life ahead of him.  Despite his genetics and the fact that his father tragically passed away when he was 1 years old, I will do everything in my power to make sure he lives up to his potential.  Yes, it’s out of sympathy, but if  I can’t make a huge impact in this world, at least I can leave this world one day knowing that I made a difference in his life <3

I just hope that one day when I get out of "tuition debt" & I’m able to find a career that I enjoy, I’ll be able to get married & start a new life on my own.  I think a lot of my surfaced depression recently derives from the fact that instead of living on my own I’ve moved back home, and instead of being at a culturally rich school, I’m now attending a school where I feel like I’m in high school again with a bunch of ignorant & immature people. Also the fact that I don’t like the city I live in b/c there aren’t many opportunities here or much to see & do.