So either my medication is working, therapy is working, or my latest major obsession has run it's course. Maybe all threethings have made a contribution. Iam not going to question it too much. I am justgoing to be thankful.Now that I am thinking more clearly I need to do something to try to stop this from happening in the future. I need to read some of the books that have been suggested to me and start meditating. I also want to start going back to the gym. My body feels so old. I am no spring chicken but I am not as old as I feel. I need to take care of myself. I deserve it.

My obsessions come in spurts. I could go weeks, months, or even years without a major episode. But when a major episode hits look out. I will sit and worry until I forget to eat. I have lost up to 20 pounds in less than 3 monthsbefore just by forgettingto eat.I don't want to laugh at anything. I don't listen to a word anyone says. I just drift away to another place and dwell. If I make up my mind that I have a certain disease then I have it. No matter what the doctor says. Maybe he's wrong so then I will go to another. These obsessions in the past have just run their course but with my last obsession shook me so hard because it was a horrible thought about someone I love dearly. It didn't matter how much evidence was presented to me I STILL continued to think the worst about him. It is such a horrible feelling. 🙁 I am NEVER going back there again. I have got to do something to change this. I can honestly say that at this moment I feel better than I have felt in about 9 months. My hope is to keep getting better. 🙂

1 Comment
  1. anxiousinohio 10 years ago

    Cat,

    Don't envy me yet. It could flare up at any time. The goods news is that this month it did NOT flare up with my PMS. That is fantastic news for me. Normally I would make so much progress then a week before my period I would start disecting my thoughts and the whole process would start over again.

     I hope that now that I have been diagnosed and my condition has a name I will have the tools to help prevent another jump off the deep end. Only time will tell. 🙂

    I am so glad I found this support group. I believe it has helped me in so many ways. 🙂

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