I have always been anxious but have been feeling more anxiety lately and having panicky feelings, that are causing some chest pain and headaches. This has happened before and I have gone to the ER. I feel they don’t take this too seriously and make me feel I am wasting their time.  I felt like I was being lectured on how to manage my life, or being given someone’s name to call for counseling. I guess that’s ok, what else can they do but I usually do not feel better or relieved, except to know I was not having a heart attack. But I know what I was feeling in the moment and it felt urgent and scary.

I was just in the grocery this morning and the music was too loud, people were talking on their phones, not paying attention, they were blocking the aisle, children were loud. I felt like I was going to have to leave but I had things to pick up and forced myself to finish what I started. I took deep breaks but I still felt like I needed to probably get out of there quickly, which I did. Throughout the pandemic, I ordered things online (Amazon, etc.) and I found that to be an amazing thing to be able to actually order and not have to go out be subjected to things that seem to call out to my anxiety but I wonder if this is a good habit to get into? Is this how I am going to managing things, by avoiding situations? I guess that is one solution.

My friends and colleagues tell me I am so calm and easy to talk to so I feel kind of like an imposter for showing that confidence on the outside and not feeling like that on the inside. I am  not being dishonest with anyone when I am talking to them, hearing about their issues and offering advice about tings that I know to be true from my own experiences and learning how to handle things. But these moments of anxiety get to me sometimes and I just feel very vulnerable.

Does anyone have similar issues? How are you dealing with these issues?


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