Where to start? 

I always thought sharing how I felt with others like me would be helpful. So, let’s find out I guess. From the title I think everyone can guess my issue. I have social phobia, more commonly known as social anxiety. And, let’s just get this out of the way, does anyone else hate it when those stupid t-shirts have those little messages like “Social Anxiety How Fucking Quirky”? It drives me mad. Anyway, it sucks.

Honestly, I just want to say that I have no idea how to battle this. Whenever I have to interact with strangers alone, my heart starts beating so fast in my chest and I can’t breathe. I get really shaky and knock shit over. It can be really embarrassing and, ultimately, ends up in it being ridiculously hard to make friends. I think that’s why it can be so lonely. I’ve never met anyone with this bad of an issue as me. I remember when I was in grade school and we used to have to be in partner work. I’d tear up because I always thought I’d do something wrong and make a fool of myself. Not to mention it’s so degrading when you see others talking to people so naturally.

I’ve only worsened since I’ve gotten older and now I can’t even talk to someone new without shaking or planning an escape plan. I’m known as the quiet kid who hates everyone when that just isn’t true. So, anyone else out there who’s dealing with this: you aren’t alone. It can feel so lonely and you can feel so misunderstood. I get that, I truthfully do. Just know, I’m here. And so are so many people like us. I can’t say things get better; I haven’t experienced the better. I won’t just give up though. Neither should you.

5 Comments
  1. xreluna 2 months ago

    Hello. Thank you for sharing. I can’t quite empathize with that level of social anxiety, but I do wonder if any HSP-survival tips would serve you well. A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) takes in more information from their environment than the average person, and that can leave some people with the symptom of severe social anxiety.
    I’m interested in finding out what you might share about your experience in the future. Take care!

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    • lacey7 2 months ago

      I was getting ready to type about the same thing! I suspect Hsp as well! I found videos on you tube and sis some research on it!

      As a Hsp myself, it is something special to be proud of that comes with some challenges like being sensitive to loud noises, headaches from weather challenges and it feels brutally painful to have some to be cruel to you! It can be lonely but I know it is a gift! If the world had more hsp trait people, imagine the kindness and compassion everywhere!

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    • Author
      canice 2 months ago

      Hello there! I never knew there was such a thing as a HSP! I did a little research, and it applies to me immensely. Thank you so much for mentioning this. I think I understand myself in a whole new light. Thank you again! 🙂

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  2. nedb3 2 months ago

    I can strongly relate, I’m 31 and my social anxiety has robbed me of experiencing the life I want most but am also so afraid of. I missed out on building relationships, connecting with others, being a part of it and celebrating the events of life. I haven’t seen it get better either. I’m perpetually lonely and empty, no matter who loves me, who I’m with, where I’m at, what I’m doing etc. I’m close to giving up. Thanks for sharing

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  3. brettlea94 2 months ago

    I love the very last part of what you said. Do not give up. Do not ever give up. In world war 2 Hitler’s Nazi party was taking over many parts of Europe by force. They even went into France and took over France, which was a big shock to the whole world at that time. They then started to attack Great Britain and was asking them to surrender. Winston Churchill told Adolf Hitler and the Nazis that Great Britain would never surrender to them. Even as their cities were being bombed and a lot of the rest of Europe was under a Nazi flag, Churchill refused to give up. Hitler even sent one of his most trusted men to Great Britain to make peace with Churchill. Churchill denied peace with Hitler and had him immediately imprisoned. According to many sources, Great Britain were very calm and confident even though they were facing destruction from Hitler. He told the Nazis that they would never stop fighting them until their hate, death, and destruction were wiped from the planet. Churchill is famously known for saying: “never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever give up.” He didn’t, and they won in the end. Do not give up as you attempt to find solutions to your issues. Everyone goes through things in life, and their are a lot of people who also feel very anxious around other people. Honestly, most people feel anxious around new people because we do not know how to act/ interact with them yet. Society can be partly to blame because technology makes us interact more behind screens (like this) where it becomes tougher to communicate with others in person. The more we interact with others behind screens, the harder it can be in person. Maybe try to embrace the discomfort of interacting with people in person and try joining some groups with others that share your current ailments. Groups that interact in person and that give solutions to remedy your feelings gradually. One way to reduce your negative feelings in the long run might be to embrace the feelings by trying to make new friends. However, do it strategically so you do not close yourself off more. Understand that a lot of people do not want to be our friends. Try to focus on people that share similar interests/ hobbies. Just really focus on it being interpersonal though. (no screens) Have a great day and never ever give up. You can and will win. 🙂

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