So this is my first blog on here, I just joined 5 minutes ago lol. I have been seeing counselors for 4 years now and have never gotten a specific diagnosis. Right now I have generalized anxiety disorder and some OCD, mostly obsessive thoughts. It's so hard lately because I just graduated from college a few months ago, i am unemployed and it seems my anxiety has been getting the best of me. I am afraid to leave the house sometimes for fear that I'll have a panic attack. I do however leave and face the fear but it's not always easy. This is where my OCD comes in… I have to be in control of everything if i'm not I feel panicky to the point where I make myself sick (headaches, sweating, racing thoughts). It's becoming debhilitating to my life. My anxiety controls everything I do and every choice I make. I've often felt so alone in this because my friends don't really understand. My mother, the one person who does understand, only makes it worse. She has suffered from many of the same things I do but I find myself holding back from talking to her about anything. My greatest fear is to become like her. She is 54, living off of disability and food stamps, and is alone and unhappy. I am so scared that I will end up just like her. And lately I feel as if im spiraling downward, headed directly for the life she's living. I'm just so scared. I have a huge committment issue, again because of my control thing. I want to be in control of everything. Even going for rides in other people's cars really bothers me. I feel uneasy, sweaty, and completely panicky. The thing about all of this is that I never used to be like this. I was happy and "normal". I never even thought that one day I'd be where I am now, writing a blog on here about my anxiety issues. I'm just scared that it will get worse. This is a lot for one blog so I'll stop here and continue ranting another time:-p Im grateful for a site like this that allows people like us to come together and help one another.