For the past week my mood has been stable!!  Man it felt good I was even getting sleep, the fatigue was still there but that and the pain was manageable.  Yesterday i had an ordeal and just blew all the good out of the water.  I think now if I didn't have this place to blog and share my emotions I'd go insane.. I have in the past but this has been very helpful to me. 

So, we got a lot of money from our tax refund and after paying almost all of our bills (that is such a good feeling) and getting my husband a new wardrobe he is badly needed I decided to splurge a bit on myself and get a few things for the house. We bought it last year and have 1 room remodeled and just HAD to get a Bonsai Lamp and some more USA themed decor.  (I love my country, it's my government that scares me).  Well my sister in law works at my most favorite store.  It's about a 30 minute drive from me out in the boonies but I always went there as a kid with my mom and grandma and it holds a very special place in my heart.  When I'm there it brings back memories for me and gives me comfort. 

Well my SIL (sister in law) hates me and always tries to cause problems for me.  My MIL (mother in law) is the same way to.  Well my best friend and I go there often ,she lives 5 minutes from the store.  We go atleast monthly.  Well when my SIl is there she is rude to me but I am better then that and put on my happy, I don't give a shit face and let it go.  Well yesterday was different.  My friend and I were followed around the store as if we were going to shoplift!!  I have NEVER been followed in that store before and have NEVER stolen a thing.  I saw my SIL and it hit me, she's said things to these people who work here.  We passed her and she never spoke a word to me, not a Hi, nothing.  That just kind of reinforced what we were thinking.. that bitch…

I have decided to return all the things I purchased but knowing my SIL and her family are strapped for money and are struggling so I won't file a complaint but I will let them know i will not be returning.  When we left my friend had me come over to her house and rest and let me vent to her because she sees it also and I had to stop her from going back in and making a scene.  My husband, he is angry over it but I want him to have a good relationship with his family so I told him to let it go.  Well the last time she was rude to me he called his mom and let her know he wasn't tolerating it any longer. So I'm sure that pissed her off and that's why she's acting this way but come on.. She knows this place reminds me of my grandma and how much it means to me to go there.  My grandma doesn't have a head stone, she was creamated and this is kind of like the place I go to when I miss her.  I haven't been violent towards another human being in 12 years (except towards my abuser but that was self defense) and I really want to punch her in her pie hole!!!!  To hell with how she treats me, her brother deserves better.  It's not our fault  her life sucks, she made a lot of bad choices and well, this is where she ended up.  I'm done extending the palm leaf and I refuse to go to family events and be around any of them.  I love my nephews but they're not even allowed to call me their Aunt…

More pointless, unwanted and unnecessary drama that I again didn't ask for.  I guess it doesn't matter how sweet, kind, polite and friendly I am to his family they will continue to be this way towards me.  They can treat me like shit and still ask for me to do things for them??  My family loves my husband and treats him like gold.  He's like another son to them and my brother adores him.  My grandma loved him and told me the first time she met him that he was the one..  People need to face reality.  I'm handicapped physically and it's not fake or an act.  I have mental problems handle me with caution or you may get punched in the pie hole!!!