Good Morning All, I havent blogged on here in while.  I just haven’t had the urge…I feel so alone and I am worried about growing old alone, depressed and in a 2nd rate nursing home starring out the window….I am a very caring and empathetic person who cares about people.  And its sad that I isolate myself so often and waste the gifts of encouragement and being empathetic to people.  It seems all around me are those who have lives, not like me.  I feel like a complete failure and that my life is such a waste.  I had such great plans for myself and so much to do but I just can’t seem to achieve anything.  I feel so deperate to feel better.  I did start therapy a week ago and I have my first appt to see the dr the 21st.  I can’t wait.  I need thigs to change….I have so much pressure on me too right now…I hate my job its killing me physically.  I come home so sore and tired.  I dont know how much longer I can do it….When I was hired, I had a desk job and because of all the layoffs and cutbacks now we are what they called "cross utalized" which means sometimes and its at least once in my work week of 3 days and its just too physical for me to handle on a regular basis.  And since we have no union the co gets away with doing this to us…But I need my job and yes I am looking for a new one but its tough, because I dont have a car.  And cannot afford one.  I am very low right now…This is when faith is really put to the test…

Donna