I have had OCD for about seven years. It started after a series of failures that, even to this day, remind me of what I did wrong. The stress, fear, and humiliation, is what brought OCD in my life and even now I find myself suffering because of what happened during that one particular year. No one can escape this disappointments but I took them very personal because of what I was left with when they ended.
The truth is that my life is now better. I have a job that I enjoy, a fiancée who loves me, and a family that supports who I am. I have no reason to complain because I see what others go through. Recently, I read of a Marine who lost his legs in Afghanistan. What right do I have to complain when I look at his life?
The reality is that I am still afraid. Afraid of failure, disappointment, and despair. I know what it is to live with all three and they almost ended my life. OCD is a sign that I still struggle with the three and even now, as I write this blog, I find it affecting me. What I say, what I write, or where I place a pen next to me on a desk, OCD is there whispering to me what will go wrong. There is no relief, no escape.
I know I am not the only one who suffers like this. That is why we are here on OCD Tribe because we find hope in learning that we are not alone. I need that hope now. I know I haven’t taken advantage of this site as much but do know that I have found relief here in the past. If there is anyone who questions whether OCD Tribe works, then spend a week visiting and read the stories of those who face the same fears. I hope that there is someone I can help who has the same problem.
\..a "lifegiving well" like this site in the middle of a figurative desert like "OCD" only works if after drinking from it..you likewise give back to it when your own thirst is quenched..thx for the reminder of our obligation to recipocity in here..\
Thanks for your comments. Our stories are evidence that we are not alone in our fears.
You are so right, I used to think what right do I have to complain but our battlefield is in our mind! We suffer with every thought every moment of every day. I have had OCD since I was a child. Of course I didn’t know what it was called when I was a kid but it started with the don’t step on a crack or break your mother’s back song. I would agonize for hours if I did during the day if I stepped on a crack. Then I would try to remember if I accidently did. Then my obssessions and compulsions would progressivley get worse. I found this website and it really helped me. I felt alive that I could share my fears that I couldn’t even tell my husband of twenty years. Good luck to you and I am happy that you have a great support system!