I want to introduce myself. I am 27, married for 8 years, have a 5 year old daughter and 7 year old son. I have a 3 year old pitbull, 2 year old yorkie-poo, and 5 year old lab. I discovered I had OCD when I was 21. I have had depression and anxiety since …well I was diagnosed when I was 14. I have been on Paxil, then Lexapro, then Citalopram and Buspirone. I had my first panic attack when I was 25. I ended up in the ER thinking I was having a heart attack. My OCD is mostly obsessive thoughts. I have a few compulsions: list making, cleaning, hoarding, skin picking. My obsessions: health- getting sick, getting in a car accident, my kids or family getting hurt ( I actually hear the screaming in my head from their pain). Most days lately I have been good. Maybe once a month I will get an OCD episode. I cant shake it. The rest of the time, I am just anxious (all the time), and have constant recurring, intrusive, obsessive thoughts. It has been over six months since my last panic attack. I quit school and my internship due to these attacks.

I have a bit of hypochondria too. I think I have cancer in my neck, because I have an enlarged lymph node. I went to the doctor three times for it and each time the doctor says I am fine. I dont believe them. If I get a pain or see something abnormal I think I have cancer of that area. If my legs hurt I think I have a blood clot. I also have an obsession with becoming pregnant. I am on birth control but still find myself buying pregnancy tests.

I have come along way and am much better mentally and emotionally than I used to be. I am still afraid I will get worse.

3 Comments
  1. chez 10 years ago

     Welcome to the tribe i hope you find this site will help you it lets you see that you are not alone. My ocd is all about contamination i'm constantly afraid of being sick (vomit) but being here on the site has helped do you have any support at home?

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  2. Piggy 10 years ago

    Welcome!  I share a lot of your symptoms, as do many others here.  I hope you enjoy it here as much as I have. 

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  3. sdluna 10 years ago

    Welcome to the tribe.  I can relate especially to your fears about your kids.  I see and hear some awful things that can happen to children.  It can be crippling.  But I've gotten help and am feeling a lot better than I ever have.  I hope you feel supported here!

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