I really think parents have a BIG part in forming you into the person you will be in your adult life. I used to not think that. I thought we formed ourselves which in a sense we do but I think our parents play a HUGE part.

My mom is very controlling. Everything has to be her way or the highway. She made us kids feel ashamed about a lot of things in life. Like sex or our emotions. If you weren’t in physical pain why are you crying? She looks at you like you are from another planet then automatically assumes you are deeply depressed!

I believe my brother is Bi-polar. He has these extremes. Like extreme happiness one week then rock bottom depression the next. Goes on a huge shopping spree spending all his money then the next week selling it all.

My mom wanted one child. My dad had a child through a previous marriage so when he met my mom he didn’t want to have anymore kids. But my mom wanted one so badly so my dad gave in. So technically my dad didn’t want us kids. Since my mom only wanted one and I am the oldest that would leave the fact that she did not want my brother. The worse part is SHE TOLD HIM THIS! What the fuck kind of thing is that to say to your kid???? I think that has made him into person he is today! He can’t control himself because he didn’t have the nurturing that he really needed in his childhood. Another thing my mom wanted McDVOICE in addition to a child was a career. You can’t have both! She relied on the horrible neighbors to watch us kids. They were terrible people! They locked us in the basement, shoved rock salt down my brothers throat, threw ice/slush balls at us, ditched us on the walk home from school, put us in dangerous siuations like throwing a ball into someone’s backyard where a really mean dog resided and them make us go get the ball. I think this is one reason why I am so jaded about religion…but that will be another blog!