Depression I have found is hell on earth, something that cripples you to the point that you may feel like you are the living dead. I have had many cuts and bruises through my life, but nothing has ever surmounted the pain from the emotional pain I have felt with depression. I was diagnosed with manic depression at the age of 16 where I attempted suicide by overdosing myself on benadryl and exedrin. Through out life since I have seen my good days and bad, but I have now figured out that it is the roller coaster of life. Some feel it more so then others and people who suffer from depression just have to work harder at maintaining things. There is also a decision strategy that one has to develop in order for better maintenance of your well being, meaning that good decisions lead to good consequences and bad decisions lead to bad consequences. This ultimately affects how you feel about yourself because when good things come to you it seems like depression eases up.

One thing I know about it is that depression does it want you to see the light and it doesnt want you to feel happy, its almost a guilty pleasure. Laughter is non-existant, which often stinks, because if you cant laugh about things then how you ever going to smile. With that, I try to make a point to find something to laugh about, if I start feeling weird about it I try to distract myself with something positive, whether or not I feel good about it. I try to force myself into good things and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt't but thats the name of the game. Depression is an illness, and its what I was given in this life. I try to embrace that its just apart of who I am and if I fight that fact then depression always will take me over. All I can do is work with what my momma gave me and learn to maintain it.

So I came up with this metaphoric idea that I call Soldier of Rome. Rome represents the mind, body, and soul of my being while the soldier serves to protect it from harm. With that I wrote out some rules to live by:

1.) As a soldier of Rome I will honor myself, without my honor I can not honor Rome.

2.) As a soldier of Rome my duty is to protect Rome from all its enemies, Rome is mine and I must honor it.

3.) As a soldier of Rome I have a clear understanding that defeat is a closer step to winning.

4.) As a soldier of Rome my destiny is mapped out by my choices, destiny does not map out your choices.

5.) As a soldier of Rome I will lead strongly no matter the outcome.

Anyway, I just thought I would let that out of the bag. I hope it acts to inspire because we have to keep our bodies maintained and good shape always!!


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