Okay here goes my story . I'm 25 years old and at about 13 -14 I witnessed my first panic attack . It all started when a girl in high school had spinal meningitis and passed away. Supposedly she told her mother she wasnt feeling well and her mother said sleep it off and she never woke up. So the next day at school everyone was a wreck because it is contagious people were going to the emergency room and Gettin a shot to prevent them from Getting it. It was scary! Anyways I left school and went to my boyfriends house and hung out there then his sisters came home 3 sisters who all went to the same school as me and the girl who passed away . They came into the house saying all this stuff about what happened and that if you have a stomach ache you have to go to the er and if you have this you have to go to the er.. I was never scared of anything or nervous. Butttt this day I don't know what happened to me I started to feel sick.. And right away everyone's telling me omg that's it you have it … Stay away from me . Now I'm even more scared I couldn't breathe I was pale . My boyfriends mom took me home. I spoke with my mom and we went to the doctor I was fine. The next day I was better but felt a little dizzy. Then the next day even more dizzy. So now I'm questioning the doctor … Could he have made a mistake ?! Why do I feel this way if there is nothing wrong. And at this time I've never even heard of anxiety or panic. Anyways my aunt said since your dizzy drink orange juice maybe it's your sugar level…. Wellllll that made me 100000 times worse I could barely stand or focus I was just going crazy and I was afraid to sleep thinking I wouldn't wake up…it was such a hard time for me. I didn't know what was going on I wa afraid to tell anyone I told all my friends I was sick and a month later they're like how can you still be sick ?! I was devastated I was lost I was scared . Finally my doctor recommended I see a psychiatrist and so I did . This doctor said I have anxiety .. Looked into it and still thought it was something more than anxiety… Because what I felt was so real … There's so much more to my story but my eyes are closing I will finish later xo
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Thanks I just don\'t understand why it hasn\'t gone away
When I had my first real panic attack I was in my 30s and was already well aware of what was really going on with me. There was a lot going on in my life at the time and it had just reached a crisis point. I can\'t imagine being that young and trying to understand what was going on.
I look forward to reading the rest of you story!
I'll finish in a new blog
Okay idk how to start a new blog but anyways after I was told it was anxiety I seen a psychiatrist he was terrible he made me feel even more crazy I didn't leave my house for 3 months and I was in h.s yes I missed alot of school.. But also my bd who was 3 yrs older than me had anxiety and used to go crazy and ambulances would be at his house everyday ause he said he couldn't breathe. He was abusive mentally and physically I was young and in love and dealt with it.( a whole nother story) but I found a different doctor and I loved her she had me feelin better after a year lol and I was able to get off the Zoloft I was taking and go to work since high school was over and everyone my age graduated . But then she left the office I was going to and I was devasted . Then I met a new bf and things were okay an all of a sudden it came back but badddd … Now I was about 20 and my mother wanted to move to jersey from staten island I was miserable not only leaving friends but my bf my home my safe place …. I had no other choice but to go … This brought on more anxiety .. So as soon as we moved I found another doxtor who was a complete moron!!! I knew more than she did . It was like I was teaching her about anxiety rather than her helping me cope with it.. I stopped seeing her and found another but this doctor only gives meds there's no therapy So that what I've been doing. And I noticed drinking beer or alcohol helps it go away. Which is bad because the first yr when I moved I drank everynight but I was so happy … Besides the hangovers I was doing okay . I can't sleep at night i like to sleep when everyone is awake it makes me feel safe. And in the car I'm so anxious I feel like in trapped and if I have to go I can't . Very weird but idk. I have tried almost every medicine possible Zoloft Prozac gabitril Effexor Paxil cymbalta is what I'm on now thy just raised my dose to 60 mg I also hve Xanax 0.25 for panic attacks an Ativan 1 mg which I don't use unless I really have to … I rather have a drink to calm me down then the drugs …. One day I had Ativan in the hospital shot in my for a panic attack and I felt great not scared or nothing but I don't want to be on that all day everyday plus then when my body is used to it what will I use ?! If this 60 mg don't help I want to detox my body o all meds and see how I am without them. Maybe they are making it worse idk. It crazy because if someone is havif a panic attack and I'm there I can snapthem out of it 1 2 3 but myself I can't I just keep thinking the worst over and over