I saw my new therapist for the first time today. At first I was nervous because she was rather bold but as time went on, I really began to like her. I'm looking forward to our next visit in a week. =)

I was feeling happy until I got home and my "friend" started throwing a fit. Last week, my boyfriend cheated on me. He cheated because I haven't been taking care of him. It's not my fault and I don't believe I deserved it – but he hasn't had sexual intercourse in over a year. I haven't dressed up nice for him or tried to please him in a long time. He finally just snapped and went out on a date that ended up sexually charged. He didn't intend for it to be a one time thing, he thought they'd date…she said no way, I just want sex, and he cut her off then and there.

I thought I was finished with him but we talked it over and we've decided to try to work through it. I've been paying more attention to his needs as I should have all along. He deleted his dating profile and has been really great with me. He's put up with a lot from me over the years…and I can't help but think, "No guy would do that for no sex if he wasn't in love." This guy literally got almost nothing from me and still continued to spoil me rotten. What he did was wrong…but I was selfish.

So I want a chance to work things out. My friend got angry and probably deleted me from her life again though. My Mom, on the other hand, said that she would always be here for me and she wouldn't get involved. I'm glad she feels that way because I have so many people trying to tell me what to do…that I just need to find the voice in all the ruckus that is mine. I think my therapist will help me do that.