So basically I know have been dealing with all this stuff for a long time but I have been ashamed of myself.  I know it's stupid, but true.  For me it's so hard to let people in.  I have gotten so used to keeping my deepest thoughts to myself that I would rather be miserable with myself than risk the chance of being hurt by letting someone else in.  My two best friends confronted me about my behavior today.  They told me that they wanted to be apart of whatever it is I'm going through.  After keeping all of my feelings to myself for years and being medically treated for a little over a year I finally let them in on what was going on.  It was so scary because I had no idea how they would react.  Thankfully they support me.  They said they knew somthing was up but figured that I would come to them when I was ready to tell them.  They told me that they love me no matter what and that they will always be there for me.  Which it wasn't like I didn't know that but still it's hard to actually come out and say it.  One of my best friends is gay and he said that what I'm going through is a lot like coming out for him was.  It's hard because you don't always know how people will react and if they will accept you the same way.  Thankfully I have them to lean on.  And all of the assumptions and jokes out there.  Some people think just cuz you're on Prozac (which I am) that you're crazy.  It's everywhere.  Friends of mine that are stressed out will be like just send me to the crazy ward and drug me up.  It's hard hearing that but for all this time I have laughed along side them while secretly crying inside.  And it's all over tv too.  On one of my favorite shows "Gilmore Girls" they made a joke about prozac.  It's like everywhere we turn around people are judging us for things like our mental status, hair color, skin color, sexual orientation.  I just wanta stop everyone and scream and say stop judging people.  We're all the same.  We all have problems and we're all screwed up just in different ways.  That doesn't make us any less of a person.  I just want everyone to stop looking at the outside and look for the acutual meaning behind stuff.  Stop reading the book by the cover.  Heck even only getting a couple chapters in doesn't even come close to explaining anything.  You have to know the person inside and out before you even think of judging them.  I feel so great now that I have opened up to my friends.  I feel like with their support and yours as well I can make it through this.  We call all make it through.  Today is a new start, the future begins now so lets make it great together!