Ok, so this isnt really an inspirational story, but I really feel the need to share it in the hopes that A.) he sees it and B.) he changed my life. Alright, so last May I was on the verge of suicide. I messaged him because he was my age and I needed help. He saved my life. I saved his. He means the world to me. Heś saved my life so many times. He is my best friend. I love him. But the thing is, I´m worried for him. I want to help him so much, as much as he has helped me. I love him so so so much. But heś suicidal. He doesnt deserve the shit he goes through. He is the strongest and bravest person I know. He cuts so much. I dont know how to stop him because that makes me a hypocrite, and Ive been on both sides of the story: needing to feel pain and needing to stop it. Heś attempted so many times…I just want to help him. Ive managed to talk him out of it but I´m worried that, one day, I wont be able to. That my love wont be enough…I dont even know how to convey how much I love him, how much he means to me. Itś really stressful though, because every night he hurts himself…I really want to help but Im starting to worry Im not enough…I love him so so much…He saved my life. He made me realize I matter. And I really hope I do the same. I love him. And I will keep loving him my whole life. My worst fear is that I will lose him. I cant do this without him. Two nights ago he medically died. I was speaking with the paramedic. I had just lost him for five minutes and I was devastated. Im terrified of losing him. I love him. I will always love him, despite his flaws and imperfections, because in my eyes, thatś what makes him perfect.

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