i have never blogged before but felt a need to find people who can relate to my problem. i have always assumed i had OCD but was jus recently diagnosed in the past year and began meds but took myself off of them…then jus recently i realized i do need them and i want help again because i cant live my life this way anymore, it completely consumes me. my ‘friends’ and family dont understand what this is like except for my cousin who is bipolar who can relate to me. but i feel like everytime i talk to a family member or my boyfriend about it, its like they are jus telling me "nothing is wrong with you" without saying those exact words and i just cant deal with talking to them about it anymore im sick of it and extremely frustrated with it. today i finally got back into treatment and am jus starting fluvoxamine maleate (luvox) 100mg per day and after 3 week he is uppijng my dosage up to 200mg per day. i came here bc i want to know how others cope with the fact that they have to be on meds the rest of their lives. im just so pissed off and upset that i will have to spend money and take meds the rest of my life just to function like "normal" people do its not fair i think its absolute bullshit that problems like this happen to completely innocent unwilling people, it isnt our fault but yet we have to pay for it and im just having a hard time coping with it. i am happy i am making an effort to change and hopefully improve my current state i just think its completely unfair for us to have this problem when its like "what did i do to deserve this" i know its not my fault but wtf i just feel like its not fair, i want to live my life w/o having all of these problems and undertsand i have to take meds in order to function how i hope to, but i just dont think its fair im so agrivated right now there is so much goin through my head right now im finding it even hard to type this i cant keep focused on one thng im jus goin nuts right now i hope that this site can help me get the support i need especially since u can relate to me in this, i guess i just need someone to talk to here and there…