So it's about 3:50am at the moment. and no sleep. I'm tired but can't sleep. this always happens though it's been getting worse lately. sometimes I get alittle sleep during the day but it seems i'm never actually sleeping.

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Just little black outs of time, but it never makes me feel energized or renewed. nope. polar opposite. so I've been wacthing doctor who, and a bunch of Batman (mostly the robins) videos on youtube.

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Been awhile since I've done a harry potter fix, so guess I'll do that now. I hate not being able to sleep, it's usually around this time i'm really wired and I get paraniod like i'm being watched or something/someone is there.

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I'm not insane…well i guess i am, but I hear voices like the TV is on but then when I check no one is up, no TV. nothing, so i get more anxious. but then I try and reason, maybe it's the neighbor.

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we live in a townhouse, so it's right next to us no space, like an apartment i guess but bigger? anyway, I pray it is. I hate these episodes in my head. it just messes with my anxiety and makes me feel more out of control and crazy.

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anyone else get this? i'm trying to explain the best I can but It's something you feel and can't explain properly. y'know? I just want morning to come when the others are awake, even if i'm not with them. I know the noises are from them.

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Nights are always longer…painful long. it's just something that causes the demons to throw a party and have enjoyment further destorying what's left of my sanity.

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I guess I'm rambling now. Well, I hope today goes okay. It's just me and mom until Monday night so that makes me VERY anxious. as she's been really getting to me lately.

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I understand she wants to help me, but sometimes she does the opposite and it causes more harm then good. so keep that in prayers…

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erm…Okay now i'll shut up. I just want to keep busy though 🙁 for those of you that can- cherish your sleep!

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