I haven't slept hardly at all in the last 3 days now & when I finally do fall asleep it feels like I wake up every other minute . I am already a mess with sleep but without it the effect is 10× worse for me!!! My mood is listless nothing can make me excited anymore even when really bad things happen it is like it doesn't even register in my brain it just washes over me & then goes out of my memory forever. I am so shut down it is starting to scare me I have Never felt this disconnected before or for such a long period of time I am guessing it is my bodies way of dealing with everything but I don't like it at all! I want to be able to feel some kind of emotion again!!! It is very very unlike me not to care about people like this. Why must it always be an extreme with me it is either over caring or not caring at all? I don't know what is happening to me…it is like I am losing myself piece by piece! I just want to have some feeling of normal in my life again this stupid anxiety has taken control of me long enough it is time for it to stop!!! I have lost pretty much all my friends to this disease as well as my family the last few who have hung in there are now also leaving me when I need them most. I now have no one & that is not me being overly dramatic I seriously have no one who cares enough to stick by me & care about whether I am here or not! The biggest problem is I can't end it all because of my religion so I am stuck in limbo here Forever it feels like. I have no choice but to suffer through until I can't take it anymore & even then I must continue to deal with it indefinitely!!!!!!!! Their is no end for me in sight. I am 23 the chances of me dying of natural causes aren't very great! I am sick & tired of being tortured!!!!!!!!!!!

4 Comments
  1. twthoma1 9 years ago

    Yorki – I understand. IT is not easy when you have no one to communicate with. I am alone myself with no family or friends and live thousand miles from my family even if they were able to help. You need to reach out to someone – find someone on the chat portion of the website – its good to talk to someone. Friend some people on this site and IM them. Keep posting in the blogs. Almost everyone on here understands – we have been there or are there ourselves now. Dont give up – get to a doctor if you can to get some help. They may be able to help with the sleep and make it more bearable.
    TT

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  2. Turtlelove 9 years ago

    Hey! I hear ya. This is something I wouldn\'t even wish on my worst enemy. I try my hardest every day to keep my chin up Not cry, or panic. But lately things are a bit out of control for me 2 I cry at the drop of a dime. My Fiance has anxiety to but he still snapped at me for my break down. I think I do need to see a doctor but now to make that first step. Not to be nosey but are you on medication for your condition. I\'m just curious because I\'m not maybe I should be… This whole feeling is very scarey

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  3. jamesFake 9 years ago

    me too. i haven\'t had real conversation for a long time in person. we support you, and don\'t rush for extreme measures. we all survive together shall we?:)

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  4. yorkielover 9 years ago

    I have been to my Dr more times then I care to remember for this! I have tried anti-anxiety medicine in the past & could never find one that worked for me & I have been on strong sleeping pills which just kept me awake longer go figure!!! Right now I am on a heart pill & Effexor for my O.C.D but nothing for sleep or anxiety :(. My Dr seems to think talking to my therapist should cure me without taking medicine or something but it doesn\'t always work that way…I am dealing with my issues but it is going to be a long road which is gonna take time & won\'t just magically get better!!!! He is usually so good not sure why he won\'t prescribe me something for the anxiety knowing what is causing it doesn\'t make it go away the things causing it are out of my control :(.

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