Today, on this day, I have faith that I am a good person, even when I feel like I have failed. I put aside the self-critical thoughts, and replace them with something milder, more gentle, kinder, filled with compassionate love for the soft-hearted person that I am. My kind heart is not a weakness, it never was.
If I cry and have panic attacks for a week or more in a row (as I just did), I will keep the faith that I am strong enough to get through this. I saw the people trying to give me support, except that I didn’t let them do so. But I still heard them, with the subtle body language and friendly hellos, and I will take the support in the form that it came. It is enough. I can gently challenge these old habit thoughts, and continue to look for ways to replace them with healthier ones in any way, shape, or form. I was depressed, and I will be again, but today I am not. It is good enough. I am fighting the fight. I am worth the effort.
It was very hard to see everyone so happy and enjoying life when I could not, but I instead want to draw inspiration and take a note of how they are creating this happiness doing their fun things, and see if I can copy that and do the same. Being so hard on myself so often has got to go, but it will come back, so I will work in tiny baby steps and make gradual progress towards my goals.