Well I did it. I moved. I up and moved my son and I out of state. I'm kind of in shocked about the whole thing since I have been in this old house since I was born and that I have major anxiety going out to places and with social situations. I thought maybe to get away from the toxic people in my life and to have a new start it would help. My sons dad's mother has been encouraging me to move here the last 2 years so we can do things as a family which is what I want. My mother never really would like to do much with us and lived close by. I want my son to know what it is like to be a family. And now that I am moved it seems like grandma (dads side) doesn't want to do anything. I know she has been through a lot lately but I can't help but to be mad. She promised my son and I that she would be here for us. I tried inviting her and the rest o fthe family over to hang out in our new nice place but nothing. Now 4th of July is coming up and I asked her what she is doing, hoping we can all spend together but she doesn't want to do anything. I'm worried I made the wrong chocie. I feel I can't win either way. If I stayed I was getting nowhere and it was too expensive and now here no family or friends to stop by. I feel very lonely. My sons dad wasn't able to come with us. Truthfully I don't think I would want him to since he steels. And now he hasn't even bothered to say hello to me. I guess because my debit card is not there anymore. Im starting feel very isolated, more than back home(old home). I don't know this area at all.Oh God I hope I made the right choice. I am happy that my mom and her husband will be visiting for the 4th but evreything becomes one big contest with her. She can never be just happy for me. Anytime I get something nice or something nice happens she has to top it off. But at least she was just down the road before I moved. I just hope it will go well and July 4th will be fun for us. I plan on bbqing and swimming and maybe setting off some fireworks or seeing them. I just dont want my kid to be sad. He is already asking to visit back home and we have just been here for two weeks.
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i want to die(again)
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Truth from the heart.
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I don’t understand myself. There are so many things that I want to change in my life but I...
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So about this week….
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The Diary of Tracy Something
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Ironic
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I swear, as soon as I start getting through my downs of major depression to the point that I...
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Freaking out I guess
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I don't know if I'm suffering from anxiety or just totally hormonal as I'm about 7 and half months...
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Concerned
Di, , Depression, 2
Dan didn't stand me up or leave, we were suppose to go to the river and what I call...
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Frustrated :(
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feel so frustrated with myself right now! havnt had much in the way of mood control today 🙁 so...

