I just started this blog hoping it can help me feel better. I dont have many people i feel i can talk to so I guess this will do for now. I dont know where to begin.. I feel really lonely. Throughout my life, I havent made many lasting friendships mostly because I have an avoidant personality and I've been in a longterm relationship with my boyfriend so being friends with other people wasnt important to me. I never really put the extra effort, and things juist became worse once my dad died about a year and a half ago. Now things are really bad, and I feel like I'm stuck especially since I almost died last week after having life-saving surgery because of a ruptured ovarian cyst that caused internal bleeding for almost 20 hours. While I was being wheeled into the operating room I felt like my life had been a waste, and I had no friends to show for it. I dont even have strong ties to anyone in my family. The only person i am connected to is my boyfriend, but I feel like his patience with my crying and self-destructiveness is running thin. I really feel like he would me better off without me. I just really wish I had friends. It seems like the simplest thing for alot of people but for me it is almost unattainable. I dont feel like anyone could really understand me, and if someone did that person would eventually disappear from my life. I dont know what to do. I feel like attacking myself because I'm so tired of the way I have made things for myself. Crying is not helping much anymore. Taking benadryl to fall asleep early isnt helping much either. Sometimes I just want to be alone, but it gets to me hard.
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I can feel myself slipping
Heffaloo, , Depression, Career, Grief, Parenting, Sex Therapy, Suicide, Weight Loss, 1
So this is what I've come to; watching @Midnight on the DVR while drunk. I haven't posted anything here...
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Sleep Never Comes
theMRS, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Depression, 0
Have not been to Depression Tribe in almost a year. Wish I would have remembered this outlet a few...
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I tried to die today
inkatobacherry, , Depression, Career, 2
I woke up feeling ok. Felt that i could redo my resume and then go apply for a job,...
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MY PRESIDENTIAL PLATFORMS
xALONEandHATED, , Depression, Child, Relationships, Sex Therapy, 0
have you ever wondered what you would do if you were president? well, today i was inspired to write...
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So I spoke to soon….
Mz_Unda_Std, , Depression, ADHD, Child, Therapist, 0
As I had stated in my update that my lil one was having a good school year…. apparently it...
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Voyeuristic Grandpa Monitoring My Phone
Cr0vv, , Anxiety, Depression, LGBT, Marriage & Family, 1
Hi, I’ve been dealing with a voyeuristic grandpa who has touched himself to either me or my partner’s and...
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I’m Just a “Me”
LostOtter, , Depression, LGBT, 0
I’ve been myself my entire life. I plan to keep being myself. Sometimes I forget who I am. I...
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I admit, I'm scared.
reaper92, , Depression, Depression, Medication, Relationships, Suicide, 4
I used to work at a behavioral health center. I don't know how many on this site have actually...