<img src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj23/shadowmajikal/astrongwoman-1.jpg"><img src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj23/shadowmajikal/spiritual/37deliverance.jpg">    OMG…Here I go again…My mind won\'t shut up…I hate that…but it wont…I have a lot on my mind and a lot to say…and to be completely honest this is more for me, than anyone else…if I could just get my thoughts in order it would be so nice…but I find at these times…the thoughts are so many…they just come bursting out…I find it amusing that 5 feet from me my grandkids are watching that movie…Liar, Liar…Because I am honest to a fault ( whatever that means) basically I just cant lie…unless its to save someones feelings…and then I am awesome at it….So, I want to say up front these are my thoughts and my experiences…and hopefully I wont freak anyone out in the process…ok here goes…I have a little different Spiritual outlook than most folks…and I have had a very long hard Spiritual Journey…to get to who I am today…basically I believe we plan our entire journey and almost everything that happens to us on it…and the goal is to be more Spiritually evolved when we go home…and we do this for ourselves and for God…anyway,,,it is much more involved than this…but that is a basic outline for those of you reading this…so we pick our paths and all the people on it…So if I have had a very scarey childhood…well I planned it that way for a reason…to start my spiritual growth going a certain way…Let me say that I really think I over-did it on the childhood thing…it was a mindfield of physical, mental, emotional, abuse, and quite a few terrifying things that most would not have chosen…somehow I coped by trying to protect my 6 sisters and brother…that has turned into a great coping tool…I am at my best when im protecting and caring for others…so, I made throught that crazy childhood….course I stay at least 3000 miles away from my dad and stepmom…and 500 away from my real mom…its better that way…they have taught me all I need to know from them…lol Anyway, I have a point here…We all have ended up where we are with what we have wrong with us …at this particular point in time…I think….to Love and help each other…and if any of my experiences can help someone I am glad to share..even though some may fear me …its ok…What I want to say is we all have HIV…and whether we are poz or neg…in this time of the world,,,everyone should be using protection…but as I\'ve gone out into the world of HIV…looking for friendship and Love, I have found…that just like in the Neg…world, most do not want to use a condom…( personally I hate condoms…but if we have to use them …well then we should) my point is this …When You Have HIV…it seems to make any other problems you have very small in comparison….and you may forget about them entirely…but these days there are so many STDS…even ones that used to not be called that…and I wonder if I am the only one who has so many of these…YIKES!!! Got ya scared now….many of these things go dormant…or whatever they call it…and if you got one or two of them like 20 or 30 yrs ago…when the docs gave you medicine and pronounced you cured…you may not think of them at all…especially if you have hiv…these things seem trivial …but as I go out into the world of HIV POZ people, I find these things are very scarey to so many…things like Hep C…as soon as someone finds that out they run for the hills…even though the chances of you getting it are 1 in a million…unless youre shooting drugs…and there are a whole lot of other things out there that maybe no one wants to disclose…like herpes 1 or 2….venereal warts…which they used to cure with a sulfer stick,,,well now it seems this is a virus that never goes away…as with herpes…used to be alright to have sex if you didnt have a little sore…you couldnt pass it on…but now I see the phamaceutical companies trying to sell their pills, by saying it can be passed on whether there is an outbreak or not…which kind of makes me wonder about the pills they are selling…hmmm…and I wonder if everyone knows that a fever blister is herpes simplex 1…and people pass that around all the time…but whether its on your lip or your private part it is exactly the same thing…takes the same medicine too…and so now we come to the main point….I have HIV…I Have HEPC…I have Herpes2…and only God knows what else I have that the docs have in the past cured and now say is never gone…So, if you want to know me FINE, if not FINE too…what can i say….hmm…I tried IV drugs…and was in love with a Junkie for two years….the first man I was ever with…I was not married to and we were together for 7 years…he cheated on me and gave me shit…that I had to look up in a hustler magazine just to see what the hell it was….what else…oh I was raped…got a present from that too…I think I was 21 yrs old…that was the second man I had ever been with in my life…I was date raped at 24…and to be completely honest…I thought it was my fault I was raped so I proceeded to punish myself for 5 or more years…until I learned it is never our fault…So all these years and life lessons later I find I have Hiv and a couple of other things…along with depression ,ocd,bi polar mania…blah blah blah…I take meds for that stuff…which makes me pretty normal…but you would be amazed how many people are afraid of you if you take anti-depressents…and now for the Grand Prize Point of my Blog….if you have HIV,,,and you dont use a condom,,,you can give each other your own specific virus and make each other very very sick…so why are you worried about these smaller things…when you already have something  in your body like a deadly weapon…So, I wont beat around the bush anymore…I have a lot of stuff wrong with me…but I am fine, and a good strong loving person…I am very Spiritual, and I have had a long long journey…and if you want to know me…I guess you will have to be a very strong, spiritual, brave, intelligent man…if you are scared easily,,,then Im afraid I just dont have time for you….of course everyone can be my friend…and also there are plenty of RUBBERS in this world…and finally this is not to any one particular person…it is just to let everyone know where I stand and all my cards are on the table for all to see…and its also for those of you with other problems you are afraid to talk about…I have said for everyone…I Love All Of You…and I truely hope you arent freaked out too much…but this is me…take it or leave it…Love & Light ….Shadowstorm    ….God! I feel so much better…lol

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