I would write in forums but hope someone online could give me some support/advice ASAP and the blogs have more visibility
I know that it would be proper for people to advise me to let go and ignore the fear, but it is not as simple as that as sometimes such actions just make my OCD worse if I cannot handle it.
I am supposed to be going to my boyfriend's uncles house. They are only a little older than my sister so I really enjoy it and they did not speak for the longest time so I am enjoying finally going and having fun at their house (my family is in the UK so I miss family visits).
Okay so we have been twice and the wife has been off work so it is not an issue.
The issue is she is working tomorrow and will be coming home an hour or so after we get there.
She works in a hospital decontamination room where they clean the instruments from the operation rooms. My fear in contamination from secretions of people I don't know. I fear that she will have trace amounts of blood, flesh, who knows what on her.
I know she says that they wear a gown over their scrubs with a face shield, but when I asked her does she have to take them off a certain way she said they are supposed to but they don't. I think she is careful herself, but of course with OCD there is such a worry of cross contamination that what she may feel is clean, may not be good enough.
Also, if she changes from her scrubs there, how does she handle the shoes, touching other things in the locker room with others who may not be so careful. I almost wish she comes home with her scrubs on and then gets washed and changed. But I am sure that she will hug me when she comes in.
I REALLY want to go and have a nice late afternoon/eveing, but I fear I may have a panic attack if I go. They don't know how bad my OCD is and may not even know I still have it.
I want to go and then say to myself that it doesn't matter. That the traces of anything on her would be no different than her daughter who works at Kohl's and uses the bathroom there, or touching money, but it just seems so much worse to me.
Just to note, I do not fear getting sick or any other consequences. I fear the contamination itself.
Any advice would be great and if anyone can get back to me in the next hour then that would be wonderful. 🙁